So I found this nice little Robert Smith quote today that describes what I'm feeling quite nicely.
"Like I can't cry for myself so I will let this song take all of the things inside I can't let anyone else see and offer it up, as if the sound were some kind of god, and my pain is some kind of sacrifice."

The Faint of Heart

I am the tin man
That you find on your screen
Lost in this world
Can I wake up from this dream?

The thing I want the most
Oh, if only I had a heart
I can't tell if I lost it on the way
Or if I never had it from the start

I stay here, lost and so alone
My joints, planted still with rust
Maybe if I hide just long enough
I'll simply turn to dust

No one wants the heartless
What shall become of me?
You should keep your distance
Leave me lost and lonely